A man walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and a duck under his arm. The bartender asks him, "What's with the duck?"
The man replies, "I just won him in a raffle! Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?"
The bartender nods and says, "Yeah, he's cute. But you can't bring animals into the bar."
The man looks puzzled and says, "But he's perfectly behaved! Watch this." He sets the duck on the bar and tells him, "Duck, do a handstand!"
To everyone's amazement, the duck stands on his wings and does a perfect handstand on the bar. The bartender is impressed and says, "Wow, that's amazing! But you still can't keep him in here."
The man insists, "But he's a talking duck! Watch this." He turns to the duck and asks, "Duck, what's your favorite drink?"
The duck looks up and says, "Water." The bartender chuckles and says, "Okay, that's pretty cool. But he still has to go."
Disappointed, the man picks up the duck and leaves the bar. But as he's walking down the street, the duck turns to him and says, "Hey, do you think we should try that place across the street? I heard they have great peanuts."
The man stops in his tracks, stunned. He looks down at the duck and exclaims, "You can talk?? Why didn't you say anything before?"
The duck shrugs and replies, "I was trying to be polite. But seriously, those peanuts sound amazing. Let's go!"
And so the man and the talking duck walk into the next bar, where they become regulars and entertain the patrons with their hilarious antics and witty conversations.