A man was driving down a country road when he saw a herd of cows standing in the middle of a field. As he drove closer, he noticed that one of the cows was wearing a tiara and a sash that said "Miss Bovine Beauty Pageant Winner 2020".
Intrigued, the man pulled over and approached the farmer who was standing nearby. "Excuse me, sir," the man said, "but why is that cow wearing a tiara and a sash?"
The farmer chuckled and replied, "Well, you see, that there cow is the most beautiful cow in all the land. She won the Miss Bovine Beauty Pageant last year and ever since then, she's been strutting around the farm like she owns the place."
Amused, the man asked, "Do you think I could enter my cow in the pageant next year?"
The farmer nodded, "Sure, why not? Just make sure she's got the looks and the moo-ves to impress the judges."
So the man went home and spent the next year grooming his cow, feeding her the finest hay, and teaching her how to walk with grace. Finally, the day of the pageant arrived and the man proudly led his cow onto the stage.
To his disappointment, the judges weren't impressed. They found fault with her tail length, her hoof polish, and her lack of stage presence. The man hung his head in defeat as the winner was announced – it was the same cow with the tiara and sash from the year before.
Dejected, the man went back to the farmer and asked, "What am I doing wrong? How can I make my cow as beautiful as yours?"
The farmer chuckled and replied, "Son, beauty contests are all about udderly ridiculous standards. But hey, don't have a cow – at least you can say you tried and that's no bull!"