A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow, that's a neat trick! Where'd you find a parrot that can sit on your shoulder like that?"
The man replies, "Oh, I got him from a circus. He's really talented."
The bartender is impressed and asks, "What can he do?"
The man says, "Well, for starters, he can talk."
The bartender raises an eyebrow and says, "Really? Let's hear him."
The man leans in close to the parrot and whispers, "Say something, Polly."
The parrot looks around the bar and squawks, "I'm a pirate! Give me all your rum or I'll make you walk the plank!"
The bartender bursts out laughing and says, "That's incredible! Does he do any other tricks?"
The man nods and says, "Oh yeah, he's got plenty. Watch this."
He pulls out a tiny piano from his pocket and sets it on the bar. The parrot hops down onto the piano bench and starts playing a jaunty tune with its claws.
The bartender is absolutely amazed and says, "I've never seen anything like that before! Does he play requests?"
The man grins and says, "Of course he does! Just give him a song title and he'll play it for you."
Excited, the bartender thinks for a moment and then says, "Alright, how about 'Don't Stop Believin' by Journey?"
The man nods and whispers the title to the parrot. The parrot gives him a sly look and starts playing a perfect rendition of the song.
The bartender is floored and says, "That was fantastic! I've never seen a parrot with that much talent before. How did you train him to do all that?"
The man leans in close and whispers, "Well, I started by teaching him how to swear like a sailor…"